Hi guys,
The place of a woman in our society has always been revered (forget the extremes) Often she has been credited with lofty adages like – ‘behind every successful man there is a woman’ or ‘the hands that rock the cradle rule the world’. I guess we women lap it all up with pride and we think that we are worthy of it all, and more. Absolutely, no problem with it!!! But, I personally think we should consider ourselves worthy of receiving such accolades only if we are ready to take up responsibility for the other aspect of men we have among our midst. Men who are classically known for their laziness/ lethargy, insensitivity, inconsiderate attitude etc.
I’ve often heard women complain about how insensitive, lethargic, inconsiderate their husbands, boyfriends are.(yes, this is part of the girl talk, just in case u men didn’t know!!!) Who is responsible for this? Isn’t it us, the mothers, who bear the major responsibility of raising children, who are responsible for these boys growing up to be such pathetic husbands/ boyfriends/fathers?
I remember when we (my sisters and I) were growing up we were constantly told that we had to grow up to be good wives, good mothers, good daughters-in-law etc. I never heard any of my aunts or neighbors who had sons, ever tell them that they had to grow up to be good husbands, good fathers or good sons-in-laws. Why do we do this? Do we think that: men are incapable of taking up this role successfully? Or, do we think that they are born with these skill sets? Or do we simply feel that they are not worthy of it??
Are we women taking great pleasure in keeping our male child oblivious to these facts? What makes us think that boys (and later men) are incapable of handling issues related to feelings, emotions etc? Are we women underestimating our boys/ men? Or is this a way of keeping the ‘secret’ to ourselves and not divulge it to them?
I truly believe that men are as much human as we women are. It’s just a matter of introducing them to their own true self and re-assuring them that it is o.k. to do so. And if we as women, who rear them, do our bit by helping them to get in touch with themselves, then boys/ men amidst us would be much better than what they are now. So, women, especially mother with sons, sisters with brothers (i don't want to get to wives with husbands, as very few to nill husbands 'listen' to their wives) out there don’t you think it’s high time we think in these lines?
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Hey Krishna,
Been a while...
that's precisely what I've told in my blog..'the way he was raised'...that's what we need to change...so, who raises kids??? It us women, right??? So, we need to bring about a change in our mindset. That's what the main intention of the blog...
oh, trust me I KNOW some real lazy members of my clan...so, no offence taken budz...
And, my friend where in my blog have I mentioned ALL gus are so??? Now, give ME a BREAK !!! LOL
Thanks for being here.....
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Hey Roba,
Quite interesting blog...but I would say, GIVE ME A BREAK!!
Not every guy is insensitive!! Its just the way he has been brought up or kind of company he keeps defines a guys behaviour!! Trust me, Guys are more resposible when they need to be. Guys tend to be lazy only when there is no rush. Its most of girls (Sorry ladies no offence Intended) who feel good in taking pressure and responsibilities!!
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Thanks Priyamvada for all the nice things you've mentioned about this blog...
I loathe the pampering and indulgence to the level of a crime...I think we fo more harm than good to our male child by doing so...
I totally agree with your professor who said we need to raise suitable boys for the woman of modern day India/ world. and who'll do this??? it's us mothers, sisters, wives and daughters, who have to start working for it now ..somewhere down the road, we wud have achieved what we started...it's never too late for it...
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Roba,
Came here via Julia's blog. My, what a lovely post!
I am SO with you. Truth is, pampered/indulged boys turn out to be insensitive and inconsiderate in their adulthood. And it is up to parents to set similar standards for boys and girls, in this regard.
One professor (woman) once told me: we keep telling girls to be this and that, to study hard and find themselves. Now the girls are far ahead as individuals - we need to raise sons better to match up to these women: to be secure in themselves and to be appeciative of and accepting of the modern day woman.
Loved this post!
Priya.
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Hey Sampath,
thanks for cheering me up....
but, honestly, there are so many of those insensitive guys around. I did not indicate anywhere in my blog that there are no sensitive guys...Atleast, now i know one....LOL
Actually, it's about changing the whole mindset.
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Three cheers to Roba
hip hip hooray!(3 times)
Dont call us insensitive
dont say we dont listen
cheers....
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Dear Putan,
sorry for the delay in replying to you.
infact, your comment is in sync with my blog. I'm indeed asking the women to change from only showing love to showing tough love. time and again fables and life itself has shown us that tough love can be better. infact, women have often falle a prey to their own insecurities. a son is cared for more than the daughter, just because ageing parents think they'll (sons) will take care of them. hence, they even go to the extent of disciplining them, in the right manner.
coming to d-i-l and m-i-l issues, have to simply tell you that have seen f-i-l and s-i-l not even meeting eyes with eachother. have we women made an issue out of it??? we accept it and put it behind us or simply act like able moderators and brave it all....
anyways, Putan, let's hope that all of us improve ourselves....thanks for dropping by...
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Dear AGMK,
Good to know another person who was trained to be a good human being....may your tribe ill this world.
hats off to your parents....
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Nicely written. Good point of view. Though, being a guy, I did find it a little one-sided. Sorry for being prejudicial :) As much as the guys need to 'grow up', so do the gals. As guys have their own chinks and inherited problems, so do gals. Think about the classic mother-in-law/daughter-in-law debacles. Its going on for ages and ask any married guy, the biggest nightmare is to get these 2 women of the house together. Again, there are quite a few pleasant exceptions to these rule now, but this problem still exists.
So, as a guy, I would like to say that, yeah - guys need to improve, but then the 'newly improved' guys also expect some improvements from gals :)
Keep bloggin
Putan
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